FULL THROTTLE: Grande Green Summer

Yo Yo Yo,

As the world turns and our ever changing planet shifts seasons, its time to get fired up about cool weather, falling leaves, pumpkins, the Gauley, and (off course) the return of water into our free flowing rivers. El Nino is supposedly back, and for those of you who don't speak Spanish, that means "The Nino" in English. Why El Nino gets the credit for one temperature gain in the Pacific eludes me, but if it means more snow in the Sierras and more rain in the SE, then I'm stoked that he/she (not sure its gender) is back.

Anyways, those of us who have been stuck in the Dirty South all summer have been forced to get our fix from damn dams. Not that I'm mad that we have dams on certain rivers, but they are just so mechanical and unforgiving that they force us to enact schedules into our lives. The Green River Narrows is a saviour to the creekboating community, which is more addicted to boofing than hot chicks are to drama. Thankfully, Duke Energy gives us our fix through generous water releases on the Green, and we are able to stay sane in a world of cars, computers, chaos, and crack-heads. Creekboaters aren't that different from crack-heads, and get pretty upset when the Duke doesn't give us our Fix by releasing the Gorilla.

The Ocoee and Rock Island have also been running thanks to their dams. I have been boogie boarding lately and its a great way to stretch your legs out after a long playboating session and get your board on bro. Rock Island is pretty tough to catch since its big powerful current is tough to ferry across, but once your in it, its Full Throttle for sure. I recommend wearing a cup, because the violent foam pile can be rough on the berries. Hell Hole on the Ocoee is quite a bit tamer than The Rock, and is much easier to catch since you can literally jump into the heck wave from the bank. Make sure to wear your constricting PFD, or old johnny law dogg might hit you with a hefty fine that will cut into your Hedge Fund heavily.

I have been Charging a Liquid Logic Jefe for quite a few years now, and was a little hesitant to convert to the Grande when I saw its massive characteristics. I thought to myself, "well, I'm a medium sized guy, and the Jefe is a medium sized boat, so I should just stick with it". However, after hearing raves and reviews from fellow Chargers of the same stature, I began to wander what this Grande was all about. Breaking my regular boss Jeferson after a solid year of Charging, Ryan Allen was kind enough to let me take his great white whale, aka Moby Dick, aka white Grande for a spin. Moby Dick was the king of the sea, and it was easy to see. The Grande is the King of the Creek, and its easy to see.